I have VISION and I intend to follow it! Will you join me?
Having a vision is far more important to happiness than setting resolutions on New Year’s Eve. I’ve never been one for resolutions but in the past I never really went into the New Year with a clear focus on what I wanted to change or what I wanted to achieve.
Being in a relationship that didn’t allow me to have my own goals or achievements meant I stopped thinking about the future. I just lived each day as it came and all I wanted was for each day to be better than the last.
Looking back, New Year’s Eve has always made me feel optimistic about the future, yet I never knew what my new year would look like. I guess I had an idea of what I wanted for my life but felt it hopeless to dream about the future and the things I wanted for my family when I quite honestly knew it would never be that way in that situation.
Going into the new years eve of 2010/2011 I felt slightly more optimistic about the future than I had the previous 2 years, though the lead up to it was not great. I had had issues with my partner and had taken our then 18month old son away for a few days. He begged for us to come back and promised the world to us of course. We returned home and as a family went into the family fireworks to enjoy the New Year celebrations. It was a great night and it was preceded with a few great days. Little did I know that I had fell pregnant with our daughter during this time.
By the following New Year we had separated, our daughter just 3 months old!
After the separation I had a vision for how I wanted things to be with their dad and was still full of hope that we could put the domestic violence behind us. I think I wore rose coloured glasses. I hoped that we could have a connected family, that we could get along, communicate and parent sided by side even without being in a relationship. I guess I just didn’t understand the full impact of family violence.
My hopes could not be a reality in our situation.
By 2014 I had come to terms with this and had started focusing on myself and the future I could provide for our kids. My new year’s thoughts revolved around making life easier and better for us, about earning money and pursuing my dreams.
The ending of a close family friendship early that year turned things upside down a bit for me initially. I didn’t really have a set vision for my life anymore and I didn’t know where we were headed. I looked for opportunities to help guide the way. Later that year I decided to do further study and started my handmade business Remake It in the hope I could earn a bit of extra money. I thought I had it all sorted.
But by the middle of the year I began to feel the pressure of enrolling my son into school for 2015. It was something I just didn’t want to think about. The decision was too hard and I had to make it on my own. Would I get it right, did I want to live where we were for the next 6 years, would this be our life and so on, where the questions I asked myself. I talked with my counsellor about it but I couldn’t gain any clarity and months went by. Then I started looking at what I want for my life, our life, the life of my kids. What was important to me, what did I need to fill the gaps in my life. How could I get what I needed and achieve what I wanted.
I realised I needed to talk with my family about what support they could offer and I discussed moving to better our position, to provide my son with a better education. And this was when I started looking at New Year’s resolutions differently. It was about having a vision and setting goals or intentions to achieve that vision.
I looked at lots of things online about goals, intentions, making commitments and resolutions. The future was still a bit uncertain and I didn’t really know how the move would go but I decided that I needed to make the commitment to moving in order to make the changes for our life that I had visioned. I committed to having a red hot go at my handmade business for 12 months and I had the goal of making a small income from it by the end of the year.
It was quite surprising for me to read the initial goal I had written back at the beginning of the year to realise I have achieved that goal. My commitment paid off, and whilst I don’t actually make a living from it I am pleased with where I have come. I have made the most of our move, I have made friends despite thinking I hadn’t and I have had a fulfilling year volunteering my time at school.
I have a vision and I am working toward this every day now.
For 2016 my aim is not to just set a goal and achieve it but to actually pursue my vision and purpose in life more directly. I have looked at what I want to change about the future and I intend to set out to make those changes.
I’ve had so many things going on this year, I really spread myself to thin at times and I know with my plans for next year nothing will be to different but I want to be a more present and mindful parent, I want to make more connections and I want to succeed at my study and be able to spread happiness through life and this blog.
I have set the intentions, I have stated it to myself, I have written it down and before the New Year even arrives I will start working on them.
Here are the 3 things I have used this year to help get clear on my vision for 2016. I don’t get anything out of sharing them with you, I just think they are great, they have made it easy for me to think about what is important and I wanted to share them with you.
- Commitment – by Alexandra Franzen
- new years resolutions/goals – by 30 handmade days
- new years resolutions – kids – I did this because its more detailed than the adult version with a section to review 2015 and even though she calls them resolutions they are noting like the standard resolution such as ‘loose weight’ that most people tend to make.
I hope you enjoy them and remember …
Don’t set resolutions this new year, have a vision it will help you find happiness within!
Until next week…