The Essential things for finding happiness

Begin and end with you!

Happiness is something that I’ve worked really hard for, as you can read in my story next week it’s something that has eluded me for most of my life, I’m 38 now! I thought I was happy last year but when I look back now, I know that I wasn’t really happy and even as I sit here today I know there is still so much more happiness to be enjoyed. Happiness really is a journey and the more you have the more you want. But when you have experienced trauma, difficult relationships or childhood, suffer depression or anxiety it really is a process that takes constant work.

it-will-be-worth-it

There have been many people, business and tools that have contributed to my understanding and journey and I will at some stage share them all with you through this blog.

Before I started on the road to happiness it felt like my life was on the spin cycle, I really had stopped thinking about anything but the daily grind, I had stopped living and was just existing! I remember sitting in front of the TV watching but not even really being aware of what was on.

Things didn’t changed for me because one day I had a light bulb moment and suddenly snapped out of it. I always knew I didn’t want to be where I was but I needed time to just take each day as it came and allow myself to grieve the loss.

I love this passage from ‘Chicken soup for the soul-find your happiness’ by Angela Sayers

“…when something happens that reroutes your entire life and the direction you were going previously, its normal to grieve and be sad. Because I believe that whenever you go through a difficult time, it changes you. It changes the way you think and perceive things, and the first step to acceptance of the new reality, whatever it is, is to mourn the past and the person you used to be.”

I couldn’t have said it any better and that’s why I share her story, and like she goes on to say I believe too, that when you are ready you will find the next step to happiness that suits your needs.

it all starts with where you are now!

For me the process really started with honestly evaluating where my life was at. Which at the time seemed a really ridiculous thing to do because I thought I knew where it was at, and that was that it was shit, there was nothing good in my life, I felt like crap, I struggled to get out of bed, I had no energy and I was sad and angry and crying a lot. But in doing this evaluation I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t really all doom and gloom, so this is the point for which I start the blogs 13 week series of posts.

I believe though the thing that’s really changed my life is having enough awareness to question my thoughts, feeling and behaviour and gaining more awareness about the situations my life presents. I think if you are not naturally an inquisitive, analytical or thinking kind of person that you can develop that awareness by working through the steps I’ve used such as understanding who you really are, what your core values and belief are and developing a vision for your life. Finding your support network or tribe, indulging in self-care, practicing acceptance and forgiveness, and by making changes or being the change you need and then taking the time to reflect on where you are now and where you used to be.be-gentle

The journey to finding happiness within is about one step at a time and if at times you slip and take two steps back just as I have done many times, once you understand what makes you happy and unhappy you have the power and awareness to change it. It gets easier every day and every time something sets you back, because you know the things you need to do.

I’ve made huge progress this year through conflict, self-doubt and feelings of loneliness just by remembering the steps I’ve used, asking myself questions and remembering the truth. I am truly happy for the first time in my life!

It feels good to go to bed at night and to feel content, to not be worrying about something from yesterday, today or about tomorrow and the future. It’s good to be able to have momentary down times and to now be able to pick myself up and quickly process it and move on. I’ve found little things don’t bug me as much anymore and that means every day is better and happier and more fun.

I am excited about sharing this happiness with you and hope that I can share not just how I’ve achieved it but what it actually means for my life also. I hope that my story can help you find your own path to happiness and that my steps are a guide to you finding what works for you and that it helps to make you and your life a better.

the 13 week series begins on December 14th so if you want to keep reading about my journey then please follow the blog to receive email updates on posts each week.

thanks x

Published by

erinclifford2013

A mum of 2 kids, multi-passionate adding blogging to the mix. I now study counselling in the hope to help other survivors of DV find happiness in their lives

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